Plan for the Way Out
1. The Score (and How To Keep It)
of every figure you could trace in the sand
you might as well try to wash it away yourself
because it's always just a matter of time until the meaning's somewhere else
with plastic hearts sending plastic pieces
connecting dots with blindfolds, burning synapses, halves building something whole
(if doing something's what you're told)
i thought if seeing meant believing i'd be doing so much more
we're all so sick and tired
of pulling all our insides out
of all you could admire
could you find it in yourself through all the doubt?
it hurts so much but still you want it so bad
but is it worse than keeping everything the same?
no matter what angle you take you’ll find it leaking out in every word you say
and all those things you do to keep you from always being all alone all the time
even though it goes against yourself to make it look like you were ever there at all
but were you not?
if you hadn't had a leg to stand on, you'd just have to crawl
we're all so sick and tired
of pulling all our insides out
of all you could admire
could you find it in yourself,
oh could you find it in yourself?
first thought's alright
but it's always someone else's that'll keep the door wide open
and you might get your punches in, sing all of the right words before it's passed
but i guess we'll see about that
we're all so sick and tired
of pulling all our insides out
of all you could admire
could you find it in yourself
say it out loud
2. Five Finger Promotion
i still feel it slipping through my hands
but i'm not letting this thing go until i feel something else
that saves me the time it takes to patch up all the gaping holes that i tear through myself
it all could stretch a lot more thin than that
and you could get a lot more time back
all bets are off, it's split
now it's either way
you just link what i say
with what i do
we can talk in circles but you're still not getting through
into the corners of my brain
to the center where you stay
cordoned yellow lines to keep the bystanders away
it's all built to break
you shouldn't get so crushed
don't think too much
3. Here, From the Ledge
for all of the reasons that i can’t explain, i always get so shocked
i knot all of my veins, get strung along until i don’t know where i got
but if it’s just luck, i get it
i guess i just always heard it wrong
at the end of the page, the ink trailed on
i just picked up where you left off
if i hadn’t known, i guess i’d waste a line on it
spend all of my time trying so hard when all it does is make me sick
but if it’s just luck i get it
we’ll fall asleep down on the lawn
i’ll say “i’ll just let the water take me and sink into the earth”, and then you’ll just yawn
and say “then you’ll know how it feels to be a little like me”
you know what, i can’t
i’m on the third round of
just second guessing
why the feeling won’t wear off
when i know something’s wrong
and if it’s just luck i get it
you’ll never be there until it’s gone
i’m giving in
but i guess i’ll be safe down there
4. Ring Like Crickets
i'll take the worst of what this has to offer
if i get anything at all
i spend my time pulling red strings out of fingertips
and threading them through needles aimed to redo both my wrists
i sink and say "why not"
get out the way
know what to do around you
notes ring like crickets
all around your door
i'd take another breath but i don't have to
if you need it more
i'll give the worst of what i have to offer
if you want anything at all
my brain works upside down
my eyes see turned around
i sink and say "why not"
why not
my ears ring like crickets
against your chest
i'll beat my head against the wall trying to prove
that you did it best
and i'll make it worse
i only do whatever works
i sink and say "why not"
why not
notes ring like crickets
all around your door
i'd take another breath but i don't have to
if you need it more
5. Paper Moons
i don’t mind
but i’m past the point where memory
is better than just being snowblind
i’ll never wash out all the stains
and you’ll have to find another jury to hang
if i don’t count all the walls
i’m never anywhere at all
wouldn’t you give anything to be
just like me?
easily deceived
free of mind
under static sea and paper moons
every hello becomes a goodbye
if i spill my brain in notes
they might be worth enough to overdose
if i don’t count all the walls
i’m never anywhere at all
wouldn’t you give anything to be
just like me?
easily deceived
if i keep my mouth real shut
there might be someone to pick me up
but i would give anything to breathe
if i don’t count all the scars
i’m never anything at all
wouldn’t you give everything to be
just like me?
easily deceived
i don’t know how to be me and only me
6. New Year's Eve Song
i've got three more minutes till i'm saying it's over, call it quits
(i didn't think to call)
of everything i could tell you,
i think picking a first would make me wish i never tried at all
to remember how to scrape the roots of my brain
and remember why i forgot to remember before
and remember all of the times i had to borrow your coat to keep warm when you had me sleep on the floor
and i don't know what i'm doing
and i don't know how i'm gonna pull it together but i know
i'm always happy to hear you got it down
but we can't talk now
hey how you been
i think the last time you saw me was when i couldn't even try to play you a chord
i hope my fingers are flying at least a quarter as fast as yours
(but obviously not as fast of course)
i hate this part where all this ten year love is always stickin around
can we please do something? i wanna change the last words that we said
before i hit the ground
and i don't know what i'm doing
and i don't know how i'm gonna pull it together but i know
i'm always happy to hear you're safe and sound
but we can't talk now
7. We’re Building A New Machine Destroying Machine That Destroys Machines We Just Built
in all that catches silver
in every river blue and grey
and every thread bare piece of fabric caught on wires pulled away
i wanna climb right through it
but every time i just get pulled apart like clay
i've got my chutes and ladders
i got my thrills for way too cheap
i've got a lot more time on my hands than i'd ever hope to keep
i'd give it all up to you,
or maybe i just need to go back to sleep
then i'd know why i
feel like hourglasses turning over
maybe i'd know why
does anybody know how the hell this thing works?
lights flicker on and off like some kind of message that we're missing
can you hear them call
from down there?
in broken stained glass windows
abandoned baseballs in the yard
i guess a step closer to somewhere, if not somewhere where you are
i'd get on my best raincoat
it might be pouring, but it's not all that far
does anybody know how the hell this thing works?
and i can't hold a signal from the way this wire's bending
i can't hear you call
from down there
i can't move past it
not for lack of trying
i just can't leave a good thing alone
and maybe i'm just hearing voices from way out of frame
8. Orchids (Garden Scene)
let regret in, the view from your head’s
like drowning in the shining sea
heart sticks static, lock your hands like bear trap teeth
“never as hard as it seems, oh you’ll see,
oh you’ll see”
too much of nothing can overwhelm
if you need someone to teach you, i do it well
if you ever hear someone say that they see their light in me
let em know that i can’t be
of the orchids, i try not to take notice
streamline the amount to forget
marigold the rotting leaves beneath me
glow warmer than the sky here whenever it sets
i’ll always be waiting, what takes me so long?
every idea makes me more wrong
if you ever hear someone say that they see their light in me
let em know that i can’t be
kickin’ around here anymore
9. 1000w
if i could put up a thousand walls
it would look like something important's in here
but i never had the kind of the luck or the skills to make something important appear
across the river, there's open cuts
where the lanterns don't reach and the light doesn't trust
all the people in their houses finding reasons to stay
in their warm safe beds until they melt away
(and the razors line up to trace them)
i don't know how
you pull yourself together, you're just tearing it down
i lose control
i'm keeping it together, but i'm letting it go
i might need you to say it again
i might need you to say it
beneath the mountains there's silver dots
blinking cold grey eyes, empty plywood boxes
you could bury away bleeding hearts and cliches
do anything that it takes to stay alive and awake
in a room where all the dust on the curtains and blinds
stay exactly the same, you're just collecting the time
you've got left to pretend that all the leads aren't just ends
you'll have to cut from the top and start all over again
(and you wouldn't want to waste that)
i don't know how
you pull yourself together, you're just tearing it down
i lose control
i'm keeping it together, but i'm letting it go
i might need you to say it again
i might need you to say it
i'm drawing borders through myself
one day i'll reach the edges
it's never something that you can surmise
watch everything just turn more grey
it still won't be the last thing that you try
so i guess that i'll just forget it
10. $9 Goodwill Sweater and a Cheap Ticket to the Bottom
we could pick up all the pieces of the lost time on the road
but we spent all four hours west just staring out the glass
light won’t dance off my arms the same way anymore
your eyes catch the same waves like perfect lines
i always figured you’d ask
i was just doing all i could then to make it last
radio waves say “you’ll never come back again”
i’m one foot in the ocean, carving knots into my spine
i’m always reaching for what’s not there
it’s always hearing or not knowing
it doesn’t matter, either way i’m going down
i’m talking right now
but there must be a way to get out
drowned in blankets, never thinking
always thinking never counts for anything
like “i want to wrap your arms around my head to soak up all this ringing”
but i know i can’t
it just follows me around
ten thousand miles down
radio waves say “you’ll never come back again”
i’m one foot in the ocean, carving knots into my spine
i’m always reaching for what’s not there
it’s always hearing or not knowing
it doesn’t matter, either way i’m going down
it doesn’t take a lot to find some kind of proof
but you can always find a way to act and make it out like you never saw it coming
and i lied
like there’s a million different ways you could’ve said to stay behind
i’ll never believe a word you say again
but there must be a way to get out
11. Red Light Seismograph/Sandown Rail
in my old house, in my old neighborhood, they're under the same trees
and every kid there is the same as me
and every childhood's the same as mine if you picture in ten years down the line,
they're breaking down
i'm just overrun
i spilled out all the guts i need to suck it up and say goodbye
staring holes through airplane windows
tucked between the seats
midwest rivers are new veins to bleed
if i could bend the wings like scissor blades i'd cut the dread that's
hanging over all my friends
we're just overrun
aimless wires make halos wrapped and tangled fingers can't unwind
if i could see it now
i'd figure something out
i'm still too far away to reach it
but at least i'm trying
i'm just overrun
and i can barely carve out anything
without leaving parts of me behind
i see the colors blend between where raindrops and your back window meet
i hear the sky is caving in but we're still safe behind the screen
we're just overrun
you're always blinding sun
we'll keep alight
i'll keep my clouded eyes
it's only half the time
we're just overrun
12. In Search of Transit....
sent signals overwhelming
every note i kept to keep the score
that “i’ve never been like this before”
i think you see right through me, or maybe i’m just too easy to guess
i always fail the test but i’ll be fine
just don’t leave me alone
there’s only so much you can pass off
as something not worth noticing
but i hope you know
in spite of all those thoughts
persistent beating loops inside my head
i hope i never see you go
no i don’t know when
but you don’t deserve to see me go crazy
but on the way
there was no reason to explain
we felt the same
"-and i'm thinking, what's gonna happen to this-to this poor rabbit? and uh then i pulled in the garage, i went upstairs, and uh... put on the tv. but nonetheless-"
if i'm losin it, you'd tell me
but i'd rather bet than make you fold
cus i know that waiting's only waiting til the waiting gets old
i know we’re only here for a minute so we gotta make it last
you know i’ve got your back, i’m always around
i won’t leave you alone
and only so much pain can fit inside your head before it bursts
i bet we weren’t so good at pulling it out we’d be doing much worse
no i don’t know when
but you don’t deserve to see me go crazy
but on the way
there was no reason to explain
we felt the same
Orchids (Garden Scene)
1. Orchids (Garden Scene)
let regret in, the view from your head’s
like drowning in the shining sea
heart sticks static, lock your hands like bear trap teeth
“never as hard as it seems, oh you’ll see,
oh you’ll see”
too much of nothing can overwhelm
if you need someone to teach you, i do it well
if you ever hear someone say that they see their light in me
let em know that i can’t be
of the orchids, i try not to take notice
streamline the amount to forget
marigold the rotting leaves beneath me
glow warmer than the sky here whenever it sets
i’ll always be waiting, what takes me so long?
every idea makes me more wrong
if you ever hear someone say that they see their light in me
let em know that i can’t be
kickin’ around here anymore
Lucky Stars Like Bugs in the Screen Door
1. Paper Moons
i don't mind
but i'm past the point where memory
is better than just being snowblind
i'll never wash out all the stains
and you'll have to find another jury to hang
if i don't count all the walls
i'm never anywhere at all
wouldn't you give anything to be
just like me
easily deceived
free of mind
under static sea and paper moons
every hello becomes a goodbye
if i spill my brain in notes
they might be worth enough to overdose
if i don’t count all the walls
i’m never anywhere at all
wouldn’t you give anything to be
just like me?
easily deceived
if i keep my mouth real shut
there might be someone to pick me up
but i would give anything to breathe
if i don’t count all the scars
i’m never anything at all
wouldn’t you give everything to be
just like me?
easily deceived
i don’t know how to be me and only me
2. Loitering Ain't Even A Crime
weave through michigan streets
and all weighs on the curtain of lines on your sleeves
and our limbs bend impossible shapes
and all of the songs that i know aren't about me
are just salt, sweat, severed lines on the interstate
blackout/curtains at home
it always takes a light on to leave me alone
and if the pavement made any more sense
it'd lead me away and i'd give up the space
calling lost time, severed lines on the telephone
leaving is never your fault
and i make way for the bums on the sidewalk
and i'd ask them why they're still in this town
but i guess they're just hanging around
count your lucky stars
3. Catherine Sky Wheel
back to the front, we're just going away
nothing better to do than hang on all that you say
but it's so light the salt just hangs in the air
watch the whole thing like you're somebody there
"well i better go, but i wanna say
i'd like to hear you someday"
scratched through the paper, left marks on the wall
just makes you wish you'd stop trying at all
just so sick and so tired telling me what i'm not
so put your spokes to the pavement and show me what you've got
cus i'm already on my way out
but i'd like to hear you someday
but as the train rolls away
i feel stronger inside thinking i'm the one who got away
right through your ribs through the glass
we'll just tell it the way that we heard when we were listening last
of all the things that you found so crushing
you would think you'd at least write something
but it's like you said
Misc.
Spokes to the Pavement
i'm waking up, i'm waking up
i hear their voices on the radio, they're luring me back to sleep again
oregon is catching up
my window leads to grey hands
to lips to cherry red
blood shed
i'm already far getting farther away
i'm no stranger to the way i'm led like mice into a trap
but i'm not gonna play along
please cancel the attack
you know it's bets off
it's a lost cause
you're all that can be said
just reduced to tangles of empty veins on a bathroom floor
getting farther away
far away
fall light lands on the window silk strands on the window